to BEE or not to BEE

I have been a terrible blogger. I promise to get back on track soon...we're in the haze of sleep deprivation and just started trying a new sleep method as suggested by the Baby Whisperer. We had a great visit from Steven's parents this past weekend (as well as a brief visit from my parents), which I will post on later.

The matter at hand is more pressing....Halloween. We have two hand-me-down costumes from the Guldes. I was all set on Ben being a bumblebee for Halloween, but the costume is a little small on him. Another option is a Big Bird costume, which I assumed would be too big as it looked all fluffy and huge in the bag. Today I tried it on him just for fun and couldn't stop giggling. I think my decision is made up, but if any of you have an opinion, let me know which costume you think is the cutest :)

sick

I'm struggling. Steven is out of town on a church men's retreat for a little over 24 hours. I am SO glad that he got to do this...he rarely gets the chance to get away, especially with other guys. It is so good for him! On the other hand, this has been one of the hardest 24 hours I've ever had...not just because Steven is gone, but Ben is sick and NOT SLEEPING. (I'm typing this with one finger as my son clings to me and nurses).
It all began Thursday night when I walked in the door at 12:30am from my crazy job. As I walked in the door, Ben began screaming. I went in to nurse him and he fell back asleep, for about 1/2 hour. Steven and I alternated going to him and comforting him all night until 4:30am when he came into bed with us (out of our desperation). He seemed fine all day Friday, but wasn't napping well. We were with several other children throughout the day.
Last night, alone, I put him down early to bed at about 6:30pm thinking surely he would sleep well since he was so tired. I also gave him pain relievers as I thought he might be teething. I started a painting project in our basement in attempts to spruce it for my Creative Memories events which I hold regularly. At about 9:15pm, Ben began crying and waking up. This continued all night long, just like the night before, when I finally brought him into bed with me again at around 4:30am. This time, he seemed warm. When we got up for the day at 6:15am his fever was 102.5. He has no other symptoms. I knew his symptoms were consistent with having a virus, but took him into the doctor to be checked for sure. So far, he has no symptoms (no runny nose or ear infection), so we're just treating his discomfort. He's clingy and pretty miserable, the Motrin is only minimally working. He's already had a warm bath, which didn't really help either......
I'm such a zombie...during Ben's two short naps today, I slept a total of 1hour and 15 minutes combined. After two nights of 3-4 hours of fragmented sleep (and a crazy day on Thursday at work), this is barely surviving. WHAT IS WITH THE SLEEP???? DON'T MOST PEOPlE SLEEP MORE WHEN THEY'RE SICK???? I can see why they use sleep deprivation to torture prisoners, it is tough! I am reminded again at how blessed I am to have such a wonderful and caring husband...and I have the utmost respect for single parents. I'm not sure how they do it without going insane.

More zoo photos

Zoo with Jennifer
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Are you sick of seeing us at the zoo? We've been going pretty often as it is close by and a GREAT diversion, especially the family play zoo which has great activities for Ben's age. His favorite things there are watching the turtle eat his lunch, watering the flowers with a squirt bottle, and looking at the fish in the fish tank. Saturday we tried out the carosel for the first time, Ben wasn't a big fan. We ended up sitting on the bench on the carosel...the animals moving up and down were a little much for him.

The ChooChoo

Choo Choo with Ellen (1)
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

The ChooChoo is a great, retro diner in Des Plaines, IL. It is always swarming with kids, especially for birthdays. The most exciting thing about it is that they deliver your food by model train. Ben has just started recognizing ChooChoos, knows the sign for it, and often says the word. We went with Karen, Miriam, and Ellen to celebrate Ellen's birthday. Karen and I had a great time eating our burger and fries, the kids loved it, too! Ben was wide-eyed with wonder the whole time. Definitely a place to return to...

Visiting Daddy at work

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Yesterday, after learning of coooollllldddd weather to come later this week (and possibly snow!), we decided to "Seize the Day" and head downtown to meet Steven for a final picnic in the park. Ben just barely fits in the baby backpack (which is much easier to maneuver on the El), so we trekked on down. Ben especially enjoyed the "Choo-Choo" which he can "say" and sign...he was wide eyed with wonder at the rattling, "Doors Closing" announcement, and even the homeless guy sitting behind us. Its a reminder to me to approach life with wide-eyed wonder and less judgement towards people.
It turned out to be a beautiful day, Ben enjoyed running around, chasing pigeons, and seeing Dadda in the middle of the day. I am going to miss this weather which is quickly retreating....
For more photos of our excursion, click on this photo to be redirected to Flickr.

Our special visitor from Australia

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

The other night, Josie Rothwell, Kim's sister, came over for dinner along with Graham and Kim. It was wonderful to see her as she lives in Syndey, Australia! Josie is a wonderful woman, just like Kim! She also has a blog, which have added as a link, so check it out.
We had a good meal and all went out afterwards to the Hothouse, a local cultural center which featured Jazz and Swing dancing. "Yoko Noge and the Jazz Me Blues" played, they were fabulous! I used to hear Yoko and her band perform back in the day when I was really into swing dancing. It was really refreshing for us all go out together. I got to dance a bit with a friend that I knew years back. It was great to remember how life-giving it is to dance! Steven and I danced together, too, which was a blast. Kim, being a dance movement therapist, studies and teaches the power of movement and the joy it brings. It brought me a little bit of joy which I have forgotten in the daily grind. It was a little gift to me, a reminder to cultivate more of that in my life.

Akeelah and the Bee

We watched an excellent movie the other night called "Akeelah and the Bee" which is a new release (at least relatively new in our world as parents). It was a great movie, definitely a PG, and had a great story. For those who haven't seen it, we recommend it wholeheartedly. It made me think a lot of my Dad, who loves words. (Dad, the word Lagianappe was actually in the movie!). It was based on the documentary, Spellbound, which is now in our Netflix queue. This also about real children who are contestants in spelling bees. We look forward to watching this, too. To read more about it, click here . Enjoy!

Dad's quick visit

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

My Dad was in town for business last Thursday (yes, I know that was 4 days ago...) and stopped by for a very brief visit to see Ben. It was great to see you, Dad, especially given that you hate driving in Chicago!!! We love you!

Grape-a-holic

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Graham and Kim joined us for dinner last night. Ben's face lit up when he saw Kim, he really loves her!!! After dinner, Kim let him play with her cell phone (no wonder she's his favorite!) and she fed him grapes (his second favorite). I think he literally had 25-30 grapes over the course of dinner. Whatever works to get him to eat....

Helping Daddy

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Steven put up a nice gate at the bottom of our stairs the other day. Ben wanted to be right next to him while he was using his drill. It was so cute...he even tried putting the screws onto the drill and into the wall. It definitely slowed Steven down, but I don't think he minded a bit....

Silly Hat

Bedtime routines
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

I have been very behind on blogging these days and I apologize. I essenitally have 3 part-time jobs and 1 full-time job (Ben), so I've been a little busy.

Life is good and Ben has been a lot of fun these days! He was giggling when we put his PJs on his head and wanted us to wear them, too! He has just learned how to "dance" which consists of shaking his head in his high chair. He is saying a few more words and continues to learn many new signs. He's also starting (?) to show his strong will....
Yesterday he learned how to climb up on a stepstool to watch me preparing dinner. I thought this could be much better than him holding onto my legs and fussing until he climbed up on the counter...Look out world!!!

Happy Butterfly Birthday, Ellen

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

We had the privelege of celebrating Ellen's birthday last night with a Butterfly themed party! It was a great party celebrating a wonderful girl! Happy 2nd year, sweet one...

Peekaboo!

Ben and Ellen at the Park (4)
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

I'm 15 months now!

Peaches and Evan

Peaches and Evan
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Congratulations to Peaches, who welcomed Evan Curtis into the world last Friday. Evan is gorgeous baby and has a great mom. I love you guys!

Ben and William

Ben and William (6)
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Ben and William were born 17 hours apart to myself and Kathleen, my colleague and midwife friend. We have gotten together periodically since their births. Its so fun to see them beginning to play together and doing many of the same things! Their personalities are pretty different, and they seem to enjoy one another. Great to see you, William and Kathleen!

Daddy's helper

Ben at home (5)
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

I found this tool bench this week at a garage sale for $3. A great find!!! It has a saw, hammer, screwdrivers, a vice...Ben's practicing to help Steven with the house this winter!

Average Day

Ben at home (7)
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Here is Ben on an average day at home. He loves to sit on the bottom stair and chatter about "this and that." He truly has very few words and most of them are "this" and "that." He's becoming much more proficient at sign language, learning very quickly. Among his repertoire are: milk, please, thank you, eat, bye-bye, eat, hat, fish, bird, more, all done, up, night-night, brush teeth, flower...its SO wonderful! We fall more and more in love every day....

Mindy and Abie-babie

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Abe has been fondly nicknamed "Abie-Babie" by his older twin sisters, Sadie and Mia (much to Mindy's chagrin!). Abe is the "caboose" of Mindy and Chads (their fourth) and is a gorgeous boy!!!

Yesterday's Adventure

Yesterday Sally and I started our adventure by packing 3 car seats into the backseat of our Honda Accord. We weren't sure we could do it, but all the kids fit (barely). It was hysterical! It could have potentially been a long ride, but once we got rolling, the kids all seemed to enjoy the company :) AND, Sally and I had an almost complete conversation! A mini van sounds better and better in these situations, even though I SWORE I'd never succumb.
Amie K had us all out to her apartment in Naperville. She is a flight attendant and just moved here from the East coast. She has been travelling often, so we haven't yet had a chance to get together. Amie had Sally, Mindy, and I over for lunch along with the 5 kids we have between us. It was so much fun to be together with college friends and attempt to catch up in the fragmented manner of mothers. Amie is a wonderful woman and just began dating a great guy, Tony! We were excited to hear all about it and see the sparkle in her eyes :) The jury is still out from all of us as nobody is quite good enough for our Amie! We'll have to wait and see when he comes to visit next month....Thanks, Aim, for a GREAT lunch and planning it all!

Flo update

We have received word from Paul and Martha and all are well. Praise God! Here is the email from Paul this morning along with some photos.

"Power was knocked out around 3:30 AM on Monday, and restored this evening around 8 PM. Although we had hurricane force winds and fairly high waves, damage at Cloverdale and around the island was minimal. Businesses reopened today and schools will reopen tomorrow (Wednesday). Ants have also emerged from hiding by the thousands, as they usually do after a storm. Here's what the storm looked like from our living room..."

Hurricane Florence

Steven's sister, Martha, her husband Paul, and 3 month old Megan live on the coast of Bermuda. Hurricane Florence, which is expected to become a Category 2 hurricane tomorrow (Monday) morning will be hitting close to Bermuda. Please pray for their safety, as well as logistical challenges with a newborn (power, water, etc.). These photos were taken from nearby their apartment.

Planes and Trains (and trains and trains) and Automobiles

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

This morning we took Amtrak from Michigan to Chicago, approximately a 4 hour trip. Ben did pretty well, was wiggly, but actually slept for about 45 minutes on the train. After arriving in Chicago, we then took the El out to our house. I have more and more sympathy for those without cars as it is challenging to be at the mercy of public transit (especially when you have several bags and an active boy to manage). We made it home in one piece, despite the 30 minute wait for the El and 10 minute walk with all our stuff. I really would qualify as a Beverly Hillbilly, I think :)
After comparing all modes of transportation, I think trains are the least of 3 evils for Ben. And, he now knows the sign for "choo-choo!"

two excellent grandparents

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Ben loves nana and papa!!! It was fun to see him recognize them and enjoy their company even more on this trip....

Breakfast at the Beach

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

For the labor day weekend, we visited my family in Michigan. We took the train both ways (see next entry) and had a nice long visit. It was good to be away and to be pampered by mom's incredible cooking and hostess skills. We had a fun breakfast on the beach on Monday, complete with eggs and bacon. Why is it that all food tastes better when it is prepared outdoors? Thanks, Mom and Dad for being so wonderful!
P.S. this will probably be our Christmas card picture, so forget that you've seen it :)

The Truth Comes Out

Our good friend, Nancy, has just published a book, "The Truth Comes Out" subtitled "the Story of My Heart's Transformation." We received a copy from her the other day, and I have been unable to put it down since. Nancy and her family have experienced more heartache and loss than most could ever imagine. Nancy is one of the most beautiful, humble, and sincere people I have ever known. She has been a dear friend and counselor, as well as one of the officiants at our wedding. I am blessed to know her and to learn from her. I know from reading other blogs, especially related to her daughter, Anne, there is much controversy surrounding what Nancy is now doing with regards to homosexuality. She is one of the core speakers at the "Love Won Out" conferences by Focus on the Family. Homosexuality is a deeply complicated issue and one that I cannot claim to understand. I know several that have been touched by struggles with homosexuality and have gone both ways in how they have dealt with it. I am proud of Nancy, and others who seek deeper understanding into this issue. I am not proud of how this issue is sometimes handled by some Christians, with judgement and condemnation. I do think there is frequently deep pain or wounding that has occurred in those who are bent towards same-sex attraction. I also know several who have been healed from some of their past wounds and have gone on to be happily married to those of the opposite sex. This is probably opening a big can of worms, and I am certainly not qualified to go deep on this issue. I recommend that anyone who is interested in this issue to read Nancy's book. It gives great insight into one who has herself experienced deep pain, and has begun the journey to healing only through the strength and grace of her faith in God. The most remarkable part of it all is that she now holds no bitterness or resentment towards all that has happened to her or the people that have wounded her. Knowing her personally, I can say this is true. This is one of the greatest miracles of all.

Here are some excerpts from the back and inside cover:
From the Back Cover
This is the beginning of a beautiful love story, Nancy wrote in her diary after meeting Don Heche, the man she was to marry. Five children and 25 years of marriage later, it seemed as if they were the perfect family. Then Don was diagnosed with AIDS-the shocking discovery of his homosexual secret. This was only the beginning of loss and heartache. Shortly after Don's death, their 18-year-old son, Nathan, died in a car crash and Nancy fell into years of personal darkness. Eventually, as she was drawn into a long journey of growth and healing, her youngest daughter, Anne, began a very public lesbian love affair. Despite Nancy's life circumstances, she held on to what she knew of God's promises from Scripture and is discovering how to look at people and the world with God's perspective through eyes full of love and blessing. Her inspiring story of faith and courage will offer hope to anyone who has ever been on the brink of despair, or wondered how to respond with love to someone in a same-sex relationship.

About the Author
DR. NANCY HECHE brings a compassionate and practical approach to some sensitive and painful life issues. After her husband's death from AIDS, Nancy experienced the international media rush when her daughter began a highly publicized lesbian affair. Nancy is an instructor at Loyola University and Judson College in Illinois, and has earned a master's and doctorate in Pastoral Counseling. She has a private practice in psychotherapy where she specializes in communication and relationship issues, and is a popular Bible-study teacher.

My Junior ZooKeeper at 14 months

Brookfield Zoo (1)
Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Ben turned 14 months a week or so ago...I guess these month "Bdays" are becoming a bit more insignificant as time marches on :) 14 months has been a lot of fun!!! Ben is sleeping FABULOUSLY which is seriously a dream come true for us (an answer to prayer might be a more appropriate statement). He's generally very happy, very active, and very talkative. He has a lot to say, although most of it is unintelligible. He's really becoming good at sign language, which has been an unexpected delight!!! He's a quick learner, for some signs, he learns them only after a few times of us demonstrating. He loves music...first thing in the morning he will go over to the stereo, wildly points and say "THIS", while doing the sign for music. Its great to be able to communicate with each other, it definitely helps reduce some frustration for Ben, I think. These photos were taken at the zoo last week. At the zoo there is a family zoo, which allows kids to really interact and play. Here he is wearing a Junior Zookeeper Outfit and mopping the floor with a play mop :) If you click on this photo you can see him watching the otters!

testing

Weird sign

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Does this sign seem weird to you??? 12 year old girls are ill?

Pool fun

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

we visited the pool yesterday as it will soon be closing up for the summer. It was a bit chilly, but we had a great time. Ben will miss the water and swimming, and so will we. Its hard to believe summer is already drawing to a close...didn't it just start???

Congratulations are in order

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Kim just finished her master's degree in Dance Movement Therapy from Columbia University in Chicago. She presented her thesis Thursday night and did so well that she was awarded a scholarship to attend the DMT conference in the fall. WAY TO GO, Kim! You've worked so hard for this and will do so well as a DMT. Kim works at Alexian Brother's Behavioral Health hospital with addicted clients. What important, meaningful work! We're proud of you, Kim!

Graham just turned 30 and has just started a new job. I am not sure if he thinks he should be congratulated for entering another decade, but I think he does. I love you, Graham. I couldn't ask for a better brother.

Goodbye Paula and Kate!

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Pictured here are Paula and Kate, Athenia and Coulter, and us. We were in a childbirth class together last year and have enjoyed hanging out periodically since. We all got together again the other day for a farewell lunch for Paula. Paula, Pat, and Kate are moving to California for a job relocation for Paula's husband. Boo-hoo! We're so sad to see you go, although we know this is a great opportunity for all of you.
We had a hilarious lunch trying to converse while feeding and entertaining our children. I think everyone around us got a big kick out of watching us manage it all. Although there was food everywhere by the time we were done, we did a pretty good job cleaning it all up afterwards :)

Ruth and Linda, this one's for you!

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Ruth gave me the beautiful red flowers in this photo (I can never remember the name of them!). They look tropical, like something that would grow in Hawaii!
Linda Bassett gave me the beautiful Zinnia seeds for my birthday and they are gorgeous. I love having fresh cut zinnias in my house every day.
Thank you, you two, for the beautiful flowers...

In Memory

Today I felt a little blue, I guess it was the let-down of returning from vacation and two naps a day to coming home to responsibilities, mountains of laundry, BIG car issues, and the return of some uninvited guests, MICE. Ugh. Mice are potentially what could throw me over the edge of the cliffs of insanity! HAH! I have much to be thankful for and I am not meaning to complain. Its just hard to come down from the mountaintop to the valley sometimes. Life is good, just hard sometimes.
Also, Saturday we learned of the death of my wonderful great Aunt, Aunt Jenny. She was a beautiful woman, of strong, Scottish heritage, and a loving wife and mother. She married my Grandmother's brother, Uncle Harry. They had a wonderful life together and a loving marriage. In the past 10 years or so, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers, and became a totally different person. It was so hard on her family, especially her husband. He demonstrated unconditional love for her despite her illness, and exemplified "for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health." He loves her passionately and selflessly. Her funeral services will be later this week in Michigan. I am praying for peace to all of her family as they mourn and remember her for all her beauty and grace. Although I cannot attend her services, my heart will be with you all.
This photo was taken of Aunt Jenny and Uncle Harry with Benjamin 1 year ago. She loved babies and even in the end, her eyes would light up when she saw or held a baby.

Grandpa's are GREAT

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Benjamin loved playing with Grandpa, especially when he let him play with the hose and the toy car outside. They seem to share a special bond, maybe its because he looks so much like Daddy???
Thanks, Grandpa, for being so great!

"Picking" pears with Grandma

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

The Bassett's home has a beautiful pear tree which produces much fruit. Grandma makes pear jam and other delicious treats with the fruit. Benjamin enjoyed helping Grandma collect the fallen pears from under the tree and placing them in a basket. Grandma is so creative and so great with Benjamin. She definitely has the gift of loving well, Benjamin loves her tender spirit! You are a wonderful Grandma! For more great photos, click on this picture to get to Flickr.

Ben's new love

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

sweet corn. he can't get enough.

Brewster Magic

Here are some photos that capture the spirit of Brewster Magic, a truly "magical" place, where you can truly relax. Rare these days.

More Cape Cod photos

a beautiful sunset from the bluff in front of the cottage













Benjamin on the flats, chasing birds





Us at our now annual Ice Cream spot, Buffy's in Chatham




Ben discovering hermit crabs for the first time

Cape Cod at last!!!

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

We were so excited to get to Cape Cod, as it is like a step back in time, a true refuge from the world. Steven's family has had a rustic cabin in Brewster, Cape Cod for almost 100 years. It is very simple (no microwave, TV) and has a great outdoor shower. We couldn't wait to get there to truly relax. It has been a place that we have had the best times in our marriage, without distractions. One of the great parts about the location of the cottage is that it is right on Cape Cod bay. I think this bay is unique as the tides are remarkable here. At low tide, you can walk a mile out on the ocean floor!!! I read somewhere that the tide drops an average of 9 feet! One of the most pleasurable things to do is to walk on "the flats", discovering the feel of different types of sand, picking up seashells and hermit crabs, watching the gulls and fisherman. Every day but one we walked out on the flats at low tide. Benjamin especially loved walking and running in the sand, splashing in the water, and chasing the seagulls. I will post a few more pictures, but for more details, click on this picture to be directed to our Flickr site.
We had a wonderful week, taking two naps per day, reading by kerosene lamplight, cooking simple meals, watching incredible sunsets, and HAVING NO RESPONSIBILITIES. Its hard to come back to reality and realize that it is unrealistic to live this way for any length of time :)
Benjamin did pretty well on the trip overall, especially on the days that we travelled. He still doesn't love the car and roadtrips, but did better than we thought he would. He napped well, but woke up nightly, which was exhausting. Fortunately, we could recover by napping. We are ready to get him back on a schedule now that we've returned home.

Next leg of our journey

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Saturday the 5th, we returned to Connecticut to pick up Steven's parents from the airport. They were returning from Bermuda, just having visited Steven's other sister and her new baby. We spent the evening together with the Bassetts and they enjoyed some time with Benjamin. The next morning, we left for Cape Cod, the next leg of our trip....

This photo is of Steven mowing his parents' lawn (Benjamin tentatively enjoyed riding with him for the first few minutes before melting down).

Cousins

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

Benjamin loves Zachary, especially when he's being silly!!!

First leg of our trip

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Originally uploaded by steveandamylou.

We arrived in New Hampshire on Tuesday the 2nd to visit Steve's sister, Jennifer, and her husband Kai, son Zachary (6) and new daughter, Sara May. We spent a few days together catching up and enjoying time together. We love you guys so much! Sara is beautiful and we loved seeing Zachary! They live on a beautiful lake, and we got some time to swim and kayak.
As always, time goes so quickly and we were sad to say goodbye on Saturday when we left for Connecticut....